Losing Control
by PinkRangerV
Summary: Elphaba's rambling, suicidal thoughts as she tries to rid Dorothy of Nessa's shoes turn into a way things COULD have gone...AU.
1. Elphaba

A\N: Um...yeah, just enjoy...

* * *

Elphaba was losing control.

As she shouted and fought, ranting at the small child caught in her hands who would not, could not, possibly out of spite give Elphaba the shoes, a small part of her mind began to realize that fact. Elphaba was earning her title as the Wicked Witch of the West...

Or perhaps, simply going insane.

Was this what it took? After thirty-eight years of neglect and abuse, was Elphaba's battered and scarred heart finally tearing her mind apart in revenge? Was this pair of shoes the straw that broke the camel's back?

Elphaba knew it was hardly irrational thinking. After all, instead of taking Dorothy and her friends in, calmly letting them help her find the solution to Glinda's spell, Elphaba had kidnapped the girl and was terrifying her in the vain hope that it would do _something_. Occasionally Elphaba had to stop herself from storming up those stairs and trying to beat the shoes off her.

Or worse.

Elphaba sighed.

She stopped reading, leaving only a finger to mark her place. Her eyes drifted from the black-and-white page to Kiamo Ko's walls around her.

Elphaba was broken.

It was...well, she had been doomed from the beginning. It had been inevitable. And as much as Elphaba found herself ranting and railing inwardly against the fact, she was also oddly resigned. This madness would make her truly evil.

And then what?

Elphaba glanced back at the book.

The Grimmerie. Her spellbook, her one, precious object. Once, alone and starving, begging for food, a Vinkus stallholder had offered to trade the book for food. But Elphaba had gone hungry instead. Just as she so often had.

With that spellbook, Elphaba's power was unlimited. As a good woman, perhaps even a hero to Animals, she didn't do much but at least she changed _some_ things. But what would she do when she was insane?

When no rationality existed to stop her?

Elphaba glanced around her again.

Dorothy's sobs had faded. Was that because the girl had cried herself to sleep, or because her sobs didn't even begin to match the ones in Elphaba's own heart?

It was hardly an easy thing to realize you were turning evil.

Even worse, Elphaba supposed, because she had only ever had one taste of love, of _any_ love-Fiyero. No childhood, hated throughout her adulthood...the same pain that led her to help the Animals led her to fall wholeheartedly for Fiyero. Deep within herself, Elphaba knew that even if Fiyero were a monster, she would still have loved him with the same ferocity and intensity, so long as he fed her scraps of approval. And Fiyero seemed to have truly, deeply loved her, an unconditional love that Elphaba hungered for.

It had been like water to a woman who had never before drunk anything but wine. Oh, certainly, the few snippets of attention her mother and father had graced her with had pretended to heal the bruises and cuts on Elphaba's heart, but to truly slake her thirst, she needed that water.

And how she wanted more.

Elphaba looked up at the stairs. Dorothy was atop them.

Elphaba was suddenly and intensely jealous.

The girl carried herself with the trademark confidence of childhood. That kind of confidence, Elphaba knew painfully well, came only from having at least one person love you unconditionally, from birth. And she never had that. If Elphaba could have found it, in that one instant she would have switched bodies with Dorothy, chopped her feet away, and gone 'home' to an aunt and uncle who wouldn't care one tick that Elphaba was injured and would simply love her anyway.

But Elphaba couldn't. So she didn't.

She knew Fiyero wasn't coming back. While laying with him, in the brief weeks she'd had him, she'd considered what she'd do after she lost him. Suicide had seemed the only option.

It still was.

Elphaba would never know love again. Because Fiyero had loved her, he had weakened her. Elphaba, foolish woman, had been so desperate for even a few weeks if love she had forgotten that her own scars were what kept her safe. Now those scars were torn wide open, and anyone who saw them could twist her mind, warping her into nothing more than a puppet.

Oh, how the Wizard would love that! Elphaba laughed hollowly. The hateful bastard...

So, that left only one thing.

Elphaba looked at the Grimmerie again.

She would take the shoes. Elphaba wanted to feel them on her own feet just once. Those shoes were more than just shoes-they held Fraxspar's love for Nessarose, Elphaba's own love for her sister, and for one instant before she died, Elphaba wanted to feel such powerful loves on her own feet, pretend that the love was meant for _her_, so she could feel one more time the beautiful feeling Fiyero had begun to heal her with.

And then...

Elphaba looked up the stairs. Well, perhaps she would let Dorothy find out the wicked old witch was dead, or even kill the witch herself if the child needed it. Elphaba owed the girl that.

But first...

First she wanted those shoes.


	2. Dorothy

A\N: Since Inverted Insanity had to be taken down (long story-let's just say it's a. typical of a Power Rangers\Wicked fan, and b. involves psychics, copyright laws, ethics, and quite possibly a Flying Monkey or Tenga, not sure yet), I offer this in apology. Enjoy! :) BTW, I know I said Elphaba had Dorothy in the tower instead of the cellar. My apologies. The Youtube vid I watched was zoomed in too far for me to see. It is actually the cellar. *looks sheepish*

* * *

Dorothy didn't know much about the world of adults, but she knew the Wicked Witch was losing control.

The Wicked Witch of the West was something she and her friends had talked about, when Dorothy had felt brave enough to broach the topic. According to rumor, the Wicked Witch had been castrated at birth, was hemo-something, 'preferred the company of other women' (whatever _that_ meant), was a married man, or just unlucky in love, either with a man or her parents.

It was all ridiculous.

Dorothy had expected that, when a Wicked Witch showed up, there would be _some_ sort of fanfare, but no, instead the flying monkeys had decided to sweep her off while she slept. They hadn't even woken Toto! But Dorothy had awoken, oh yes, in midair.

And then she'd met the Wicked Witch of the West.

The woman was _terrifying_. Dorothy had thought she'd met old, scary women before, but this was brand-new. The Wicked Witch's skin was _green_, for goodness sakes! And when she had seen Dorothy, the old hag had cackled. It had sent shivers down Dorothy's spine.

Then the Witch had seen the shoes.

The Witch had stared. Just stared. And whatever Dorothy had been thinking-she wasn't _evil_ or anything, she certainly wasn't going to _kill_ the Witch! She just...didn't quite know what to do-flew straight out of her head.

This woman was insane.

Then, quietly, the Witch had said, "Give me those shoes."

Dorothy, thinking that perhaps the Witch would understand, had replied tremulously, "I can't. They're stuck!"

For a second, Dorothy remembered her friend Timothy from school. She knew her Auntie Em and Uncle Henry would never be so mean, but Timothy's father sometimes gave Timothy a whipping if he was naughty. And the Witch looked exactly like Timothy's father after Dorothy and Timothy had broken a window with a baseball.

When the Witch had raised her hand, Dorothy had actually flinched.

But then the Witch seemed to change her mind, instead grabbing Dorothy's arm and snarling, "_Give me those shoes_!"

Dorothy had stammered in reply, "B-but Galinda st-stuck them-"

"B-but Galinda stuck them..." The Wicked Witch mocked. "I don't _care_, you little brat! Give them _back_! They're _mine_!"

Dorothy had been struck dumb with fright.

So the Witch had yanked her over to a trapdoor, pulled it open, and shoved her down. Dorothy had just managed to catch herself on a ladder before hitting the ground. Toto followed much more gracefully, landing on all fours like a cat and barking furiously.

The Witch, a terrible expression on her face, snarled, "If you _ever_ want to see your Mommy and Daddy again, you'd better _give me those shoes_!"

"But...I've only got an aunt and uncle."

The Witch paused, blinking in confusion. It happened sometimes. Dorothy was a very curious girl, and thus could easily be distracted, especially by her own thoughts. So Dorothy kept talking, in the hopes that, should the Witch be blindsided enough, Dorothy could...

Could...

Well, do whatever it is Dorothy had meant to do. Save the Witch, probably. Dorothy remembered the 'farewell party' the Ozians had thrown and shuddered. _No_ one, however cruel, deserved _that_ set upon them!

"There's my Auntie Em," Dorothy had babbled in perhaps-vain hope, "And my Uncle Henry. Mother and Father died while they were at sea. Everyone drowned."

The Wicked Witch continued to blink. Then she shook her head and crouched down.

"I don't care who you've got." She hissed. "_I want those shoes_!"

Then she'd slammed the trapdoor shut.

Dorothy had begun to cry.

She didn't know how long she'd been crying before the Wicked Witch had started yelling again. Threats, promises, occasionally a gesture of a clenched or slightly raised fist that awakened a primal terror in Dorothy.

Finally, though, Dorothy could no longer cry.

She was cold and numb inside. Everything went wrong, _everything_! Dorothy hadn't wanted to hurt _anyone_, but she'd managed to kill a woman, steal her shoes (although she had _not_ been raised in a barn!), and now couldn't even save the woman she had set out to save! Even if that woman _was_ an evil, Wicked old Witch.

"Elphie, let the little girl go!"

Dorothy, hearing the voice, leaped to her feet. Glinda! Glinda the Good would save her! The Wizard had sent help!

"Go _away_." The Wicked Witch-Elphie-muttered irritably.

Dorothy frowned. This...Elphie...was acting like, well, Dorothy. When Dorothy had a bad day, she would grumble just the same thing to Auntie Em. And Auntie Em would give her a hug and tell her it was all right, that Dorothy could have bad days as long as she needed to.

But who would hug the Witch?

"Elphie. Please...listen. Just listen." Glinda began, her voice slowly dropping too low for Dorothy to hear. Dorothy watched, though, through the slats of the wooden trapdoor. The two were talking, nearly hugging...

And to Dorothy's utter surprise, the Wicked Witch burst into tears.

Toto made a whining noise sounding surprisingly like, _what_?

Dorothy couldn't agree more.

Glinda carefully patted the Witch's back, muttering soothing words meant to show kindness, nothing more, and Dorothy watched with a sense of near awe. For the first time, she was seeing an adult who wasn't strong and didn't have all the answers, and in some part of her mind, she felt that these thoughts and ideas were a key step to...to...something big.

It was enthralling.

Then the Wicked Witch straightened.

Carefully, the woman walked over to the trapdoor. Dorothy jumped back, into the shadows. Whatever progress Dorothy had made vanished as Dorothy remembered that this was the _Wicked Witch of the West_. And for all Dorothy's insights, she was a very scared little girl.

The Wicked Witch opened the trapdoor.

"Dorothy?" She asked. Not yelled. Asked. "Are you there?"

Dorothy didn't reply.

The Witch carefully slid down, leaving the trapdoor wide open. She was tall-her hat brushed the top of the cellar, and she hadn't needed the ladder to get down. But instead of a horrifying expression of rage on the Witch's face, all Dorothy could see was sorrow.

Dorothy suddenly wanted to give her a hug.

The Witch stepped forward and Timothy's father flashed into Dorothy's mind, breaking any possibility of a hug ever happening. Instead the little girl cowered in the shadows, clutching Toto to her chest.

The Witch considered Dorothy for a minute. Then, to Dorothy's surprise, she sank to the ground, sitting on the dirt floor just like Dorothy had a minute ago. And, silent, the Witch waited.

Slowly Dorothy sank to the ground as well.

"I'm Elphaba." The Witch said. "And you're Dorothy Gale, aren't you?"

Dorothy nodded.

The Witch-Elphaba-smiled slightly. "See? Not quite so scary with a name."

_Not quite so scary when you don't _yell_,_ Dorothy thought resentfully. The Witch Elphaba must have realized that, because she looked down, sheepish.

"I suppose your Auntie Em and Uncle...Henry?...taught you that adults are perfect." Elphaba said with a bitter smile. "Do you mind if I tell you a secret, Dorothy?"

Dorothy slowly shook her head, crawling a little closer and letting Toto go. Just a smidge. So he could breathe.

"Adults aren't always perfect." Elphaba confessed. "Sometimes we do bad things, because we're hurt and angry. Like when I threw you in here and yelled at you. And I'm very, very sorry for that, Dorothy. I should never have scared you like that, even if I was hurting."

Dorothy considered that, then nodded. "I...I'm sorry too. For taking your sister's shoes. I really _do_ want to give them to you! But they're _stuck_, look!" Dorothy held out a foot, yanking and tugging at the ruby slipper.

Elphaba held up a hand. "Wait, Dorothy. Stop. You'll hurt yourself like that." She reached out, then hesitated. "May I?"

With a considerable sense of relief-Dorothy hated shoes to begin with, and not being able to take this pair off was certainly _not_ making shoes more attractive-Dorothy nodded and stuck her foot a bit farther out.

Elphaba reached out and took the foot in her green hands.

She was surprisingly gentle as she turned the girl's foot this way and that, examining the spellwork on it. Then she sighed. "Glinda!" She shouted at the floor above them.

"Are you done making up yet?" Glinda asked in a tone that was just slightly mischievous. Dorothy giggled.

Elphaba rolled her eyes and shouted back, "Would you _please_ take the damn spell off these shoes?"

"Why, Elphie! Such language! And in front of a child, too!" Glinda shouted down, and Dorothy _definitely _wasn't imagining the amusement in _that_ one, another giggle escaping her lips.

"Hey, no laughing at the person holding your foot, Miss Gale!" Elphaba said, grinning, then shouted up, "Well, if you don't feel like helping, then _you_ can be the one to explain to the Wizard why you're still here when those...er, _stupid_ Witch Hunters show up and _I've_ got an army all ready to move!"

An _army_? Really? Dorothy looked at the green lady with a sudden surge of awe. "You have an _army_, Mrs. Witch?"

Elphaba gave her a very odd look. "Mrs. _Witch_? Where in the world did...I'm _Elphaba_, you goose." She sighed and released Dorothy's foot, holding out a hand. "Come on, I need to yell at Glinda while I'm on the same floor as her."

Dorothy, now thoroughly amused, followed Elphaba willingly, Toto safe in her arms.

"Now, _if_ you don't mind, Miss Glinda," Elphaba said once the girl was up, "I think Miss Dorothy would like her feet back, and goodness knows _I_ would like my sister's shoes sometime before nightfall!"

Dorothy didn't catch the wink passing between the two women.

"All right, all right!" Glinda sighed. "If you're _sure_!" She gestured at the shoes.

Suddenly Dorothy's feet were free. Dorothy couldn't explain how she knew, but she kicked the shoes off instantly and all but cheered. No more shoes!

Elphaba snatched them up.

Dorothy froze. For a second, with those shoes in her hands, Dorothy saw the Wicked Witch of the West standing there. Her skin bright green, her clothes midnight black, a terrible expression was on the old woman's face, an expression of...

Pain.

And Dorothy realized just what she'd been planning to do.

She reached out and gave the Wicked Witch a hug.

Elphaba stared, but Dorothy didn't let go. "It's okay." She said, just like Auntie Em did. "You can have a bad day, Elphaba." She paused. "Just don't yell."

Elphaba stared above Dorothy's head at Glinda, and although the little girl couldn't see it, Elphaba was perfectly aware of Glinda's sudden understanding.

And Elphaba, very slowly, hugged Dorothy back.

"Thank you." Elphaba whispered hoarsely, then coughed. "All right. Let me...let me have a minute. I need to think."

Dorothy let go, blushing slightly as she slipped to Glinda's side. Glinda smiled brightly as Elphaba vanished to a hidden corner. "Thank you, Dorothy."

"For what?" Dorothy asked, frowning.

"Saving Elphaba." Glinda said, then shook her head, laughing slightly. "Oh, don't worry, dear, you'll understand all this when you're older."

Dorothy decided then and there that she _never_ wanted to grow up. Adults were _impossible_.

However, when Elphaba emerged, with the shoes on her own feet, she seemed to be shining with the brightest light Dorothy had ever seen. She, silently, held out a pair of soft leather slippers to Dorothy, who slipped them on and smiled at the _much_ better feel of these shoes on her feet.

"I," Elphaba announced, "Have a Plan."

* * *

A\N: Um...oops? *looks really sheepish* This wasn't supposed to be AU! Honest! They just...got away from me...but, yes, it will be VERY AU, with another chapter that, hopefully, I will have up within a day or two. If you don't like this chappie, let me know so I can rewrite it!

Thanks! -Pinky


	3. Glinda

A\N: I'm sorry.

* * *

_You are my best friend. When I see you grinning, I know you've got a plan I want in on. -Anon_

Elphie was losing control.

Glinda realized that as soon as she walked in. Oh, at Elphie's level of power she may not be, but a knack for empathy like Glinda's was nothing to sneeze at, and Glinda had to stop herself from smacking her lips to clear the bitter taste of insanity and despair from her mouth.

The stink would linger in her mind even if she cleared her mouth.

Apparently, since Dorothy was now clad in soft leatherlike slippers-Glinda had a feeling they were her old faux-leather ones that had mysteriously 'vanished' to reappear as Elphie's favorite dorm slippers-the insanity had passed. Glinda had even thanked Dorothy for her help in it. Giving Elphie a hug had been simply inspired. Elphie was even dealing with Toto rather well, and the idiot of a dog had been trying to eat her hair for the past fifteen minutes.

But she was starting to wonder if she'd been hasty in that assessment.

"Elphie?" Glinda asked quietly. "Remember what happened _last_ time you had a Plan?"

Elphaba just grinned.

"Why? What happened?" Dorothy asked curiously.

Glinda shut her eyes in horror while Elphaba's grin grew wider. "Oh, nothing." The Wicked Witch chirped cheerily. "Toto, _no_. That is _my_ hair."

"Elphie. You can _not_ call three very large and annoyed Velociraptors attacking Boq's hat in the gymnasium because they think it's their unborn egg _nothing_." Glinda said with a shudder. "And that was just the end result."

"Veloci-whats?" Dorothy asked, a rather unbecoming and mischievous sparkle in her eye.

"Dangerous and extinct." Glinda said firmly, trying to silence _that_ train of thought before it got started. The _last_ thing Oz needed was for Elphaba to take on an apprentice in insanity, not in the least because Dorothy appeared so innocent at first.

Elphaba's grin just grew worse. "All the more reason to want in." She handed Dorothy Toto. "Gale, take your dog before I'm scalped."

Glinda paused and considered.

"Okay, you have a point." She admitted. "But I am getting you in front of a licensed mind-healer as soon as it's over, got it, Elphie? And you are _talking_, missy. No more of that dumping-fish-on-the-healer's-head nonsense!"

Elphie shrugged. "Fine."

Glinda was definitely warning the healer about Velociraptors.

Dorothy looked up at Elphaba in unadulterated awe. "Elphaba? Can I help with the Plan? Pleeease?"

"_No_." Glinda said firmly. Elphaba's Plans were _not_ for children's eyes.

"Actually, it sort of hinges on her." Elphaba said apologetically.

Glinda sighed. "Dare I ask why?"

"...She has to throw a bucket of water on me."

"This is just going to get weirder, isn't it."

"Oh, yes."

Glinda turned and waved her wand. "In that case," She decreed, "We could all use some peppermint tea."

The Wicked Witch of the West was no more.

The Vinkus were singing that fact rather enthusiastically. Glinda winced as she heard it. The song was nearly as bad as the one the Ozians had decided to perform for Dorothy before she set out on her journey. Glinda had seen the terror on the little girl's face and knew it had been mirrored on her own.

Luckily, Dorothy was too young and stupid to remember it for long.

Glinda, safe in her bubble, floated down to the crowd with a false smile on her face and began explaining events, or rather the official version. Her handshakes and brief smiles were reassurances; her words soothing gestures. As an empath, Glinda made a skilled politician.

But it was worthless without Elphaba.

When the rather irritating Vinkus farmer demanded to know if Glinda was Elphaba's friend, it nearly broke her heart, because in truth, she wasn't. A real friend would have stopped Elphie.

But Glinda was a best friend. And a best friend did exactly the opposite.

A best friend knew when to let go.

So she hid her tears and smiled and lied. And when she returned to the Emerald City, the Wizard and Madame Morrible offered horrible false sympathy.

Dorothy did not return.

Glinda offered, by way of explanation, the burnt Witch's broom. The Wicked Witch had gestured grandly, lit her broom on fire from a torch, and accidentally lit her own skirts aflame. Dorothy had found a bucket of water handy and thrown it reflexively. But the fire had spread to the walls, and so Dorothy, trapped in the fire, had burned to death.

A failure of a death for a promising life.

And the worst was that Glinda didn't know whom she referred to when she said it, Elphaba or Dorothy.

Glinda, citing a 'slight headache', had gone into her room and locked the door.

As soon as she did, her eyes lit up.

It had been three days since the Witch's death. Everyone was thrilled.

And then they saw the cloud of dust.

The Emerald City's inhabitants had been surprised at first. Whom could be arriving, that would make such a fuss?

And then they saw the Animals.

The collective thought seemed to run thus:

_Oh, shit._

However, to everyone's surprise, the walls of the Emerald City held. The Animals were kept outside, the people in, and all was well.

Then, an hour later, the attack stopped.

Surprised, everyone rushed to the Palace. What was happening? Why?

And who was on the balcony? Not Press Secretary Morrible, no. This was a tall, gaunt woman, draped in long black shawls and hunched over a book. But Lady Glinda was beside her, so she couldn't be _that_ bad, could she?

"Fellow Ozians!" Glinda said aloud, and, for a change, somberly. "I am astonished and saddened to report that the Wizard has been arrested, as has most of his advisors."

Gasps.

"This is because the Wizard has _lied_. He has lied about the Animals. He has lied about his own power. And to prove to you his lies, the most powerful sorceress in all of Oz will let your glasses fall from your faces." Glinda held up a hand. "Judge for yourselves, people of Oz! If I am wrong, then the city will be blindingly bright, and I will willingly accept whatever punishment is dealt. But if I am right?"

She grinned.

"The city _will not be green_."

The citizens murmured, and Lady Glinda nodded at the sorceress.

Then, quietly, the woman began to chant.

"Eka eka thurnamos, eka eka thurnamos, eka...eka...THURNAMOS!" The woman cried, her power shooting out and unlocking the glasses.

And then the truth was revealed.

Shouts and cries came from the crowd. A nightmarish rumble was beginning. The Ozians had been lied to.

And they were angry.

As they lifted the bars on the doors and let the Animals in, tearing any Wizard propaganda down and destroying it, Elphaba Thropp lifted her shawl. No one noticed.

But Dorothy, Boq, Fiyero, and the Lion crept out from behind a curtain to stand beside her, the circle complete.

Elphaba, watching as her world righted itself, stood tall. See, she told her teenaged self, just beginning at Shiz, There _was_ a celebration in your name, you survived it, and now you are the most powerful person in Oz. Now you can truly change and save lives.

Be proud. You've earned it.

"Wait," Dorothy asked, "Where's Toto?"

Elphaba frowned and turned her head.

Toto saw her hair...

And leaped.

The End.


End file.
